Scanning the November 10
issue of The Onion you will find three items that capture a malaise that is spreading on the blogs.
The first?
Bush Promises To Unite Nation For Real This Time
WASHINGTON, DC—A week after winning a narrow victory over Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry,
President Bush promised to "unite the divided nation, but for real this time." "Just as I pledged in 2000, I promise to bring
the two halves of this nation together—only this time I'm really gonna do it," Bush said Tuesday. "I'll work hard to
put an end to partisan politics. Seriously, though. This term, I will." Bush then requested the support of all Americans for
his agenda of cutting taxes and extending America's presence in Iraq.
Funny? Maybe not. Just more of the same. Sometimes it is hard to differentiate satire from straight news.
Then there is this…
Liberals Return to Sodomy - Welfare Fraud
BERKELEY, CA—No longer occupied by the 2004 election, liberals across the country have returned to
the activities they enjoy most: anal sex and cheating the welfare system. "I've been so busy canvassing for the Democratic
Party, I haven't had a single moment for suckling at the government's teat or no-holds-barred ass ramming," said Jason Carvelli,
an unemployed pro-hemp activist. "Now, my friends and I can finally get back to warming our hands over burning American flags
and turning kids gay." Carvelli added that his "number-one priority" is undermining the efforts of freedom-loving patriots
everywhere.
And this sounds like a
straight news item on Fox News these days. Did I say straight? Sorry.
The there is this…
Political Blogger Mass Suicide To Be Discovered in Two Weeks
BOSTON—By examining web-traffic data for left-leaning DailyKos.com, researchers have predicted that the mass suicide of 14 political bloggers will likely be discovered sometime in mid-December.
"After months of doing nothing but sit alone in our rooms at our computers, trying to get our message to the people, we lost
the election anyway," read the still-unread suicide pact posted Nov. 3. "We'd rather be dead than live in a country as fucked
up as this one." The bodies will most likely be found by property managers, long-estranged parents, or neighbors returning
copies of Joe Trippi's The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.
Ah yes. Bob Patterson,
ace columnist for Just Above Sunset did warn about this. Once the election
is over what is there to say? Indeed, it is hard to get inspired. Perhaps a week or two of not talking about it
all is called for.
Things one could examine?
One might be was the election “stolen” or some such
thing. Over at MSNBC you will see that Keith Olbermann is addressing that. And you can catch his investigation and interviews on his show, Countdown. But that’s a dead end.
As one fellow (Atrios) explains here -
Yes, there are serious problems with the way we count the votes in this country. Yes, no electronic
voting machines without paper trails should exist. Yes, all machine counted votes should have random audits to ensure their
reliability even if the election isn't thought to be close. Yes, no one should stand in line for 4 hours to vote. Yes, the
media should be demanding, and the authorities providing, answers to obviously legitimate questions about various anomalies,
such as more people voting in a county than were apparently registered. And, yes, I'm sure I can think of a few more things.
But, irregularities and questionable results are not necessarily "proof" of "fraud" and "proof" that the "election
was stolen. " If people want this issue to be taken seriously they need to stop thinking that any of the information floating
around right now - and yes, I've seen it all multiple times - provides proof of any such thing. Yes, legitimate questions
have been raised, but I fear people on "our side" have started to confuse the legitimate questions with the answers to those
questions they've imagined. I'm fully ready to believe that everything was corrupt in Florida, Ohio, and elsewhere, but thinking
and knowing are different things entirely.
It is entirely true that there are a sufficient number of either weird
or clearly unacceptable things which happened during this election. It's entirely true that the media should be following
up more of these stories; the integrity of our democracy is seriously at stake. But, the cause is not helped by touting inconclusive
statistical studies as "proof" or screaming, "Kerry won! Kerry won!" every five seconds.
A "smoking gun" may yet appear,
but until that time we need to differentiate between legitimate questions and manufactured answers. And, the cause of improving
things by '06 is not helped by turning legitimate questions into conspiracy theories.
There's never anything wrong
with raising questions. There is something wrong with believing you have answers to those questions that are not supported
by the evidence.
And so far? It’s all bullshit.
That’s a dead end.
And then there is this “overwhelming
majority” business about the election – and the best review of who is echoing that is here. The Bush victory was NOT and overwhelming majority vote – it was, damn
it, a tad more than fifty-one percent. But what does it matter? That’s the current meme.
So what to consider? A
federal appeals court stops the Guantánamo tribunals, cold. This is just illegal, under our laws and under international laws. The Bush administration is asking for a stay – we need to get these guys, even if they are the wrong
guys and the process is fascist and we’re being stupid. Hey! These are the bad guys, we think. Well, they could
be the bad guys.
Yawn. Playing fair is so pre 9/11 and all that.
I
suspect we just have to deal with this. The election is over. Playing by the rules is for losers.
And note this -
Two days after the worst election defeat in decades for Democrats, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger
referred to them as “losers” in response to a reporter's question about tax increases.
… ‘Why
would I listen to losers? the governor asked. "Let's be honest."
Okay. That’s the playing field now.
There lots of talk on what the Democrats should do now –
see this and this for example. But it doesn’t matter much.
Of course Attorney General
John Ashcroft announced his resignation saying this: The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.
Right.
And the neoconservative National Review has started the call to pressure the Bush administration to name Zell Miller the new Secretary of State, replacing the traitorous Colin Powell.
Whatever.
Hunker down. Say little. Let it all play out.
And we will take Fallujah. And
then?
Topics not covered? Economics and the dollar. The privatization of Social Security – where shared risk is dumped din favor of individual responsibility.
And on it goes.
But I should mention the war and its implications – a draft, as we are running out of
troops.
Bob Patterson throws this in the mix –
If Bush starts up the draft again, will gays be drafted?
If they are going to be the object
of nation wide disapproval, is it a good idea to put them into military units? Should there be all gay units just like the
all Japanese Nisei battalion in WWII?
If they are not wanted in the military, then you will have a strange situation
where the straights will be fighting and dying for the right to exempt gays and pass a constitutional amendment forbidding
gays to get married (and possibly even forbidding civil unions for legal purposes?)
How would that
make the straights feel?
Will gays be drafted when the draft starts back up? (Is there any doubt that it will not
become necessary to start the draft up by next summer? If anyone has any reasons for serious doubt about that, then that might
be a new topic, but I think the crux of the question is: will gays get drafted or will they be exempt.
And Nico in Montréal replies
-
If America drafts gays, will gays be willing to answer the call to be the first-line of defense
as second-class citizens, or will they start pouring over the border into Canada, along all the other disenchanted northern
democrats?
Fewer liberal minded people will further weaken America's ability to mount any political alternatives and
entrenching the Bush dynasty into perpetuity.
If you exempt people from the draft for being gay, it will become fashionable
to be gay, and that wouldn't sit well with Bush and all those supporting moralists in Jesusland.
Yep. An issue.
But
what to make of it all? The die are cast.
Four more years.